My Dad and Daughter
As a little girl I was never close with my earthly Father. My parents divorced when I was 2 and i simply didn't know the man I called Dad. Unfortunately I spent many years bound in resentment and bitterness over this. I felt unloveable and my bad choices through my teens and early twenties just added fuel to that fire. I blamed way too much on a man who I believe today did the best he could to love me. Today holds a dear place in my heart for so many reasons, it marks the one year anniversary of the day I forgave my Dad. Sitting in church a year ago today, God's mercy washed over my heart and He gave me His eyes to see my Dad as He does and here's how i see my Dad today...
generous, funny, down to earth, a great cook, wonderful smile, creative, broken, hurting, and loves me and my family so dearly.
Last week I recieved a letter from my Dad saying all the words I had wished for so long he would say to me, almost a year to the date of my forgiving him. The amazing thing about that letter is I didn't feel how I thought I would feel about recieving it. I thought it would make me feel some how justified in my pain for all those years, kinda like I deserved to feel like that...bitter and angry. But it didn't make me feel deserving at all, it made me feel just the opposite, it made me feel unworthy of God's mercy and it made me feel sad for my Dad not having a friendship with Jesus. God calls us all to be OAKS OF RIGHTOUSNESS, A SPLENDER FOR HIS GLORY and I knew in my unforgiveness i had not been that for God. He asks us to forgive our enemies and here I held onto unforgiveness like a security blanket.
As I sat in church today, filled with gratitude, all I could think of was my Dad and just how much God loves us all. I thought about how God has filled me up so completely that, in Him, I have been made new and His mercy gives me beauty for my ashes. And I thought about God's generosity to me, giving me my Husband, my Priest, and my Father in Law. I no longer have an absent dad...I have FIVE FATHERS! God is Good!
My Husband, my Best FriendThe man who taught me love, patience, and trust. You are my Heaven on Earth! I admire, respect, and adore you and the kind Father you are to our babies. I have learned so much from you, love of my life. xo
I'm always amazed at what comes out of me on this little blog of mine. I never mean to go deep yet somehow I always end up here. My prayer for you, if you are holding onto unforgivness in any way, is that you would lay it at the feet of Jesus. That He would do for you what He did for me.... give you His eyes so that you could see your enemy that way God does....broken.
"Unforgiveness takes delight in our fear, as it binds our wings and pushes us off the cliff of dispair."
Come back this week to play "Guess Where", my silly version of Where's Waldo and win a fun prize:)
Linking up with Jen and my sisters at http://findingheaventoday.blogspot.com/, stop on over.