HOLY WEEK
Peter said to Him,
"Master, why can I not follow you now?
I will lay down my life for you."
Jesus answered,
"Will you lay down your life for me?
Amen, Amen, I say to you,
the cock will not crow before you deny me three times."
John 13:37-38
____________________
*
Reading the Holy Scripture this morning, i was amazed how God was speaking to me. Struggling this last month to get these prayers posted has been very humbling for me. Yes, my computer had a most nasty virus, and yes i waited too long to take it in to be fixed, which made it even worse off. But the real YES and the truth of the matter is I just didn't try hard enough. Then i just felt shame for not doing for God (and you all) what I said and committed to doing...just like Peter. I got my computer back last Thursday and here I am Tuesday with a post!WHY? I can only say that my complacency, guilt, and busyness kept me from praying with you. I have no excuse but that. And as much as I have let myself down and some of you down ( I lost several followers), the fact of the matter is I let God down because this was part of my Lenten promise to Him. Simply put, I told Him I would do it and I didn't.
So what now??
I get back up, I confess and ask forgiveness, and I refuse to let satan win!
Like I stated in a previous post, I believe it is no coincidence that my computer broke within a week of starting this series. The problem is that i became like Peter...believing I would stop at nothing to fulfill my promise, only to quickly give up when it became too hard.
It shows me the depth of God's love for me that He would take my sin by giving up on Him and this promise I made, and He would turn it around to Glorify Himself through this Holy Scripture.
Oh how He loves us....
Lover of my soul,
Forgive me when I deny you.
Here I humbly sit, feeling the weight of your cross, my sin.
THANK YOU for allowing me to feel so deeply just a tiny glimpse of your sacrifice.
As we come closer to the foot of the cross to watch you suffer a most agonizing death, help us to love like you love Jesus. Help us to dig in during these final days of the journey and carry the cross with you Lord. Help us to be like Veronica, wiping the blood from Your precious face with no regard for ourselves.
We praise You, we love You, we trust You.
In the name of Jesus,
Amen
And as I read this I think "Isn't this what lent is supposed to be about? Living in reality, in the reality of our failures, our fears, our frailty? And using these to come again and again to Him to cry "I need You, please forgive me!" You have/are truly walking in the meaning of lent...those who left, those are the ones still journeying to find their place by His side...
ReplyDeleteBlessings dear blog friend...
Just yesterday, I had realized that God has asked me to do something and I didn't do it because in my small little mind, I deemed it "unneeded and unnecessary." I can stand here and confess with you, girl.
ReplyDeleteAnd receive the forgiveness and grace with you, too.
It's been too long since I've been here! Yes, let us learn to love like He did and dig deeply.
ReplyDeleteHe's forgiven you, I forgive you, did you forgive you too? My Lenten plans have altered from the original idea I had, I've learned that it's much harder for me to just be in His presence than to do things...I'm glad I still have a few more days to keep learning!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
And HIS amazing love... forgives us all. Oh how HE loves us! So happy to come here and read this today. Today on Good Friday. Easter is coming! ♥
ReplyDeletewhat a lovely way to use this space Jill...just lovely...
ReplyDelete